6 Years  / DaddyO (father)
Well 6 years is really nothing to me but I pray that many friends and family have healed from this terrible tragedy. There are many bright spots for Margaret and me that helps keeps us going. Jason and Barbs wedding, Brian doing well in college and Bradley continues to amaze us all. I pray that you are able to share in some of this and drop in on us from time to time. I pray and hope that we will be re-united someday but fear that you may never want to see me again. I know I should have protected you and I failed badly and everybody knows this but out of kindness never says anything. I hope you can forgive me for being so out of touch in your life and failing to see what was going on. A dad has only one real job and that is protect his daughter from everything possible even themselves and I failed in that. I am so sorry… Close

Need Your Help  / Mom (mother)

Not a day ever goes by without my deepest thoughts of you nor will it ever but I really believe you already know that! 5 Yrs have passed...Your brother Jason finally married Barb 2 months ago ..thats right you were there! If there's any way for you to soften your Dad's pain that would help...you see I went into extreem therapy and I know you were with me then too...But your Dad....

he died the same day you did....We still need him here...I know thats asking alot...but that is what I pray for every night.....

Love you for all eternity

Mommy!

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Bad Feeling  / DaddyO (father)

Becky,

I have neve spoken about this but in the days up to your death I had a series of warnings which I ignored but didn't know what they meant until it was to late. Over the last week of you life the family had some serious fights with you over your changed behavior which we did not understand at the time. 3 of those family/friend fights gave me a horrible chill down my spine which I will never forget. They shook me up badly and I tried to watch every word I said to you and what everyone else was saying but I couldn't control other people and these horrible chills made me think something bad was going to happen. I regret everyday that I didn't do more because I knew something bad was going to happen. After the 3rd chill I knew it was with you but 1 hour later you were dead right under my nose. I want to fix this if I could before you went to work and never thought you would hurt yourself with us right their. I have had that chill again with my brother and he was dead in a few day. I pray for forgiveness for not doing something and trusting my feelings and hope never to feel it again. I love and miss you so much my little gobber, broken wing, cuddle muffin. See you soon

DaddyO

I doubt anyone will even notice this LOL...

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Wish we can turn back time!!  / Linda Ahmed (Friend of Your Mom )
Becky -

It would be wonderful if we could turn back the hands of time and be able to be given one chance to make things right again for you and for your family that miss you more as each day passes.  I hope your looking down from heaven remember everyone that loves you. You'll NEVER be forgotten, ever since I met your Mom, I can't forget you, so you'll ALWAYS have a place in my heart Becky....you and your family are thought about often and missed emensely!!!   Love You & your Mom (glad your Mom shared your story with me), it will stick with me FOREVER!!!  

HuGs to YOU AnGeL,
Linda :) Close

Thinking of you  / Jacque Kauffman (Friend of Brian )

I am thinking of you and your family at this time of year.  I know how amazingly beautiful and special you are to them and that your memory will never fade.  We miss you and love you, sweet angel. 
To Becky's Family - not sure if you remember me - but I wanted to let you know that I'm thinking of you and sending you lots of hugs and loving thoughts.  I hope you are doing as well as can be expected.  Love, Jacque

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5 years of tears  / DaddyO (Father)
I am so sorry you couldn’t be here with us 5 years later. I feel so sad and think everyday of what could have been. The wonderful things a father and is loving daughter could be doing and sharing. So much love between us but so much sadness and despair in your life. I always thought life would work it self out for you and things would get better but I was so wrong and am so sorry I didn’t do more to protect you. Please forgive me. I miss you and love you so much every day and you are never far from my thoughts… Close

Surely Missed  / Amy (Friend of Brian )
I know I have never met you, but just by the way your brother talks about you. You are amazing. Your family loves you ALOT. I know, you're still with them in their hearts as well as at the dinner table with them.  You've never left. Close

HAPPY SAINT PATRICK'S DAY BECKY  / Leo McPhee Mom

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Gods plan  / DaddyO
Life is what it is and what we try to make it. But many choices are taken away from us from the beginning and so be it. In life we think we have some control but that is an illusion for scared, lonely, and alone people. We control nothing except what we think in our own minds and even sometimes that is taken from us by religion, governments, friends and even parents. In the end we are all just alone as we were in the beginning.

We pray but are we heard? We kneel to be humble in front of the Lord but does he see us. Maybe, maybe not. Why doesn’t just show up and sit down and have a cup of coffee and talk a little while. That answer is simple. We would all want to kill ourselves to go to heaven to be with him. You would have to be crazy not too… To hide from us just makes us look harder which is what he wants us to do. It gives us purpose and light in our life’s. We want so much to sit down and talk with him and ask why and what?

Maybe some people like Becky can’t wait till we die the natural way to talk to God. Maybe some people just don’t want to be a part of something so painful and beautiful at the same time. Most would say there is more pain then beauty in life so maybe this is punishment or maybe not. Put us in the most beautiful place in all of creation and then allow horrible pain and suffering. Without the pain and suffering this would not be the most beautiful place in all creation. This is why God hides because he wants us to have purpose and see the beauty beyond the pain. Maybe if Becky understood this she would have stayed around a little longer…

There is no more pain for my daughter but then there is no more beauty either. She surly added to what I would call the beauty in the world but she brought some of the pain with her also.

Love DaddyO
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Life could have been.  / DaddyO

On your birthday I am sitting and wondering what life could of been like if you were here? The things we could be doing together? The happiness that could have been? Since you were 13 there was sadness in you that I could never figure out. Maybe there are people like you that were not made for this world, that are too fragile to cope with a world that can be so cruel at times. I really don't understand why people did the things they did to you knowing how fragile and beautiful you are and were. Maybe someday parents will raise their children to actually consider the feelings of others. I pray for that day and the other fragile souls like you out there. Maybe someday people will realize what they did to you and seek out forgiveness from the one's that were so hurt. I know they believe it is better to just forget and move on but this is something we never forget. So one day there may be a knock at the door or the phone will ring and one of those people will be there asking for forgiveness. I am willing to forgive.

One thing is for sure is that I failed to protect you from those people and never gave you the guidance to cope with dealing with them. For this I will never forgive myself. 

Happy Birthday Gubbers

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FOR BECKY  / Cathy (passing by )
SWEET BECKY

YOU DON'T KNOW ME BUT I KNOW WHAT YOUR FAMILY IS GOING THREW. I LOST SOMEONE THAT WAS THE WORLD TO ME AND THAT WAS MY DAD HE HAS A PAGE ON HERE ALSO HIS NAME IS STANLEY WISNIEWSKI I LOST HIM IN 1982, I MISS HIM EVERY DAY OF MY LIFE.
YOUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS WILL GO ON AND THEY WILL MISS YOU.
BE THERE FOR THEM THEY NEED YOU SO MUCH.

THIS IS FOR BECKY DAD
BECKY KNEW HOW MUCH YOU LOVED HER SHE JUST COULD NOT HOLD ONTO WHAT WAS HAPPENING TO HER IN HER OWN MIND
YOU SOUND LIKE A GREAT DAD AND ITS NOT YOUR FAULT. BECKY IS THERE WITH YOU EVEN WHEN YOU THINK SHE,S NOT HOLD ON TO ALL THE GREAT THINGS YOU DID IN LIFE WITH BECKY

I WILL PRAY FOR YOU Close

hey grl everything is going good for me right now!!!  / Alison Miller (friend from school )

Hi Becky, how is everything going for you up in heaven?? I hope good. I have great news to tell you. I am doing a lot better. i have a new fiance that i have known since i was 14 years old and hooked back up with him and I am pregnant and i am due this comming up feb on the 23rd! i am so excited! I didnt ever think good things would happen to me, but it has. i wish you were going to be here when my child is born. i will tell my baby all the good things about you! I remember talking to you about kids and that if I had kids they would call u aunt beck! i am going to miss that but u will always be loved by my child! well i just wanted to let you know how everything waqs going. i miss u dearly...

love,
Alison Close

A Memorial Day Tribute  / Rosemary Sis Of ^j^ Alvin Cremeans

Your angel will not be forgotten.
Praying for those who love and miss her.
xoxo

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i wish i was in your stage right now and you were alive...  / Alison M. (friend from school )

well hello becky. i hope everything is going well for you right now, because my life is going horrible right now. i feel like i want to be where you are today, but i know its not a good thing to think about but i have been thinking a lot lately about this and becky i wish you were here and i wasn't.yeah it's about a guy(been with him for over 5 years,and you know him) , but i know its not worth killing myself over anyone, but at this point i really dont care. i am going to try to stay strong right now because if you were here i know you would tell me to be strong and dont do anything to harm myself. so i am going to try to listen to your words you use to tell me when we were in high school.but i miss you dearly and i think about you everyday i am depressed(and thats almost everyday) and i keep thinkin every time i think about killing myself ,i keep saying in my mind dont do it because everyone misses becky so much and i dont want everyone to be hurt as much as they are with missing you. so hopefully one day i will realize that trying to think about killing myself isnt worth it. but right now i keep thinking to myself that its the right thing to do right now, but i keep hearing the words come out of your mouth telling me not to do it,so thats why i am still here right now! but i will write you soon and tell you how my life gets . i love u and miss u so much, i really wish you were here!...love Alison

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Thinking of You and Your Family Today  / Marcella, (Marcie) Adams, (Chetcuti) (Your Daddy's Cousin )
Hello Becky,
     When I got the email from you Mom last night I just couldn't believe that it has been 4 years since that awful day when you left us.  I never had the chance to meet you, but from all the notes and letters here on this sight, no doubt you were a very special young lady.  I don't know what brought you to this point, but I know how much your Mom and Dad miss you.  It's has been a very difficult road for them.  I just want you to know that I have tried to be there for them even though my own daughter has filled my days with many challenges.  I just want them to know how much I care for them.  And will continue to keep you and your family in my prayers.
     I don't know if there is anything that could soften the pain of this tragedy, but I wanted to share something with you.  
     In walking a little with your parents as they have tried to make sense of your death, they have shared info with me of what to look for, signs of depression and suicide.  I never thought I would ever have to use that info.  What they shared with me gave me the insight I needed to spot that my own daughter was in the same frame of mind.  After she had gone through one bad relationship and then another.  I realized that if I didn't step in I too could lose my daughter.  I was on watch for several months.  I had many words with INDIFFERENT DR'S, that finally listened and put her on an antidepressant.  That alone wasn't enough.  My vigilance paid off and when she finally decided that she couldn't go on any longer, I was there to get her to the hospital.  All I remember as they were making her drink the charcoal to make her bring up all the pills she swallowed is that because of your family sharing their info with me at a time that, if it had been me would have just shut myself up in a room and never would have come out again.  Probably saved her life.  And for that I will always be Grateful!! 
     She is still having to deal with a lot of challeges in her life.  I continue to be there for her as she gets professional help to make sense of her depression and her life.  All I know is that I wouldn't trade her worse day for what your family has had to endure without you. 
     God Bless and keep you Becky in his loving arms. And May he keep your Mom, Dad and Brothers and all those who have to live everyday without you,  in his heart.  
                              God Bless You All
                                    Marcie Close

Thinking of you today.  / DENISE DECKER (Friend)
We are all thinking of you today, and although I didn't know you well, I remember your bubbly, sweet personality! I also pray for peace for your parents & brothers.  From:  The Decker Family Close

Four Years Today  / Mom (Mom)
How much you are missed you will never know..how each and everyday you are thought of and spoken of and the tears that fall from so many that love and miss you....If only you really knew...For those around your Dad and I we put on such a front but you know life will never be the same...we ..all of us that you have touched our lives will always miss and love you...I feel so selfish sometimes wishing you were still here just so I could feel better just for one more minute..the hopes and dreams and wishes are endless...for you I hope you are at peace... for you sometimes enter my dreams...for you...we wish...eternal life.
Loving and missing you..
Mommy Close

4 years of tears  / Daddy O. (Father)
My beautiful daughter,

This is such a sad day for everyone who knew you and continues to be sad for me. I have come to realize that there is no such thing as healing when it come to the death of a child and the only way to survive is to bury the pain a little deeper every year that passes. Small things can make the pain come back so quick. My love for you is the only way to overcome these terrible feelings of pain. I miss your soft hand in mine and your beautiful spirit that always filled the room when you were there. I miss talking to you about life and how unpredictable it can be. I miss so much about you. You are always in my heart and thoughts Becky. I love you so much my daughter.

Daddy O
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HAPPY BIRHTDAY BECKY  / ANGEL LEO MCPHEE MOM
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i miss you babygrl!!!  / Alison Miller (good friend from skool!! )
Hey becky...its ur day!! ur 22 yrs old today!!! yay!! i wish i was celebrating it with you today but i bet you are already having fun with the new ppl you met where you are right now!! i wish the best for you...i pass your old house almost everyday and i think of how much fun we had together!! i miss you dearly...the best memory i can remeber with us is being at matts concert and us getting video taped trying to sing matts song with my brother greg and it was so funny!!! i miss you so much grl! i hope you are having fun where you are right now!! its so hard to keep thinking you are not here right now...i can just close my eyes and see you right next to me hanging out! well i am going to go now!! oh yeah i graduate jan 19th i finally did it this time i didnt drop out like i use to all the time!! i also have a fiance and we are going to try to have a kid!! i wish you were here to see my baby when it grows up when i have he/she!!! well dont forget i will never forget about you...you are always in my dreams!!! i love you and miss you lots!!...my mom says hi (mrs. Miller)
with love from all of us...
love 
Alison
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